Sunday, September 27, 2015

Rewind on cloudy skies

The mercury retrograde this time has been so moving for me. It's not as dramatic as the previous one and it didn't get me bouncing off the walls as well. It was just in a way, quiet and really allowed me to get in touch with my past which is basically what mercury retrogrades give us time for. For those of you who aren't fans of astrology, mercury retrogrades are that period when Mercury (the planet) slows down and appears to be revolving backwards. The way it affects the universe is that it favors activities that involves RE- revisiting, reconnecting, rekindling, restarting, etc. So you might notice a lot of old friends suddenly popping in or old unfinished projects that you decide to continue. It's always been emotional for me cause this period makes it hard to plan anything in the future. Plans fall out and if you know me enough, you know I get crazy when this happens.


The mercury retrograde this time however has been good to me. The timing was perfect cause it fell on my mom's birthday and it gave me time to reflect a bit and just reconnect with my past.  I've been, in a way running away from it but I realized now that you can't completely turn your back on your past. It's part of who you are, it's what made you the person you are today and no matter how much you just want to  turn a new leaf; start a new life; you can't completely cut yourself from your history. You have to embrace it. Let it be a reminder of the things you've gone through, your goals when the world wasn't as complicated yet, and may it guide you in choosing your future path.


This period allowed me to reconnect with friends as well and close off unfinished chapters in my book. The biggest lesson for me is realizing that memories have to be honored. It might not be something you enjoyed but in the end, you have to honor that it happened. And no matter how much it has altered your life, you have to acknowledge it. Make it part of who you are. Be proud of it; honor the people who helped you get to where you are now; the people who helped you forget.


We go through a lot in life just so in the end we can tell stories. And the most amazing stories are those that are filled with adventure. Those that are a bit challenging, a bit dramatic, a little heartbreaking. Those are the kind of stories that make for a meaningful life. That's the kind of life you would want to one day be telling your grandchildren about. 

I am grateful for the mercury retrograde because it allowed me to remind myself of who I was before. Reminded me of what my life has been, what I've achieved so far, and just served as a way for me to stop and count my blessings. 


In all these, I just want to honor my mother. She was the most influential person in my life and no matter how people see me or her, they can never take away the fact that she was a good-hearted and wonderful woman. They can judge us or say things about us but I choose to honor her memory and believe in the pureness of her love and her desire to ensure a good life for me. 

I took the outfit photos when we visited her for her birthday. I was half expecting rainbows cause I've always believed seeing rainbows meant she was smiling down on me. But I never saw rainbows that day. Still, it doesn't matter so much anymore. I was there to remember. Just to be reminded of her love and with and without rainbows, I know I carry her heart with me. I carry it in mine.

Revenge printed top - Revenge Fork
Black shorts - Forever 21
White sneakers - Cotton On
Sunglasses - Sunnies

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